Guard Your Brother
(The Pits of Prejudice)
Life is all about relationships. Relationships have the potential for making your life joyful and fulfilling, and they also have the potential for making your absolutely miserable. Our biggest problems are “people” problems. Can you relate to the pastor who in frustration commented, “ministry would be wonderful if it wasn’t for people?”
When Jesus was asked what was most important, his response directed us to the importance of relationships. The first is our relationship with God – “love the Lord your God with all…”, and then secondly he commanded us to love our neighbor as ourselves. Do you see the genetic code of God’s purpose written in love?
Ray Stedman wrote, “To dwell above with those we love, that will be glory. But to dwell below, with those we know, that’s another story.” How well do we get along with people? James is addressing a variety of issues in the Christian life that involve the mature and growing believers. Like a string of pearls each principle is unique, beautiful valuable, and more valuable when combined together.
Jesus was free of prejudice, and exhibited zero favoritism. Even his enemies recognized Jesus equal treatment of people.
Jesus has “no” favorites when it comes to salvation! (Matthew 22:16 
)
No discrimination in Christ:
No Favoritism by God:
Why is Sunday morning considered the most segregated time in our society?
Human nature divides, evaluates and criticizes!
In James we see God’s 1) purpose of love, then we see 2) the problem of favoritism, and finally and 3) plan for reconciliation.
James is addressing the golden rule.
I. Purpose – Love Everybody (Verse 1)
Don’t mix “faith” with “favoritism”, they are “not” compatible.
God is hardcore against the social disease of snobbery, and skin
deep prejudice. God values what is on the inside. (1 Samuel 16:7
; 1 Timothy 5:21
)
What is favoritism? προσωπολημπτέω (prosōpolēmpteō):
(an idiom, literally ‘to accept a face’): to make unjust distinctions between people by treating one person better than another—‘to show favoritism, to be partial, partiality.’ [1]
Prejudice:
1 : injury or damage resulting from some judgment or action of another in disregard of one’s rights; especially : detriment to one’s legal rights or claims
2 a (1) : preconceived judgment or opinion
(2) : an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge [2]
Areas of discrimination (snobbery):
Appearance – If you are beautiful, you have an advantage.
If you are a plain Jane, good luck.
Today’s popular TV show – Extreme Makeover – involves people have been selected from a list of applicants, to undergo radical reconstructive surgery to change their appearances. It is an advertisement for “body beautiful”, and the plastic surgery industry.
Maxwell Maltz – Psycho Cybernetics – discovered that as he performed plastic surgery to change the appearance of people on the outside, inwardly, they could not see themselves any differently than they always saw themselves.
Illustration: Dave Busby, once invited Alan Hadidian to speak to his college ministry at a retreat center. Dave dressed Alan up as a bum, and planted him on the highway leading to the retreat center. He instructed the driver of the bus to pick Alan up, offer him a ride, and even invite him to join the group for the retreat. Certainly some of the college students were experiencing anxiety, thinking that Alan could be an ax murderer, gang member, drug dealer, terrorist, Al Quida kingpin or Saddam Hussein in disguise. Can you imagine the surprise of the college students when Alan was introduced as the speaker for the weekend, covering the topic of discrimination?
Do you pre-judge people based on appearance? Remember, appearance is simply the way skin is stretched over bone. Are you into dressing for success? Wearing “power” clothing? Judging people based on weight, or athleticism?
Achievement – Many worship at this alter. I am important because I have achieved something. I’m better than others because I am successful, and have plaques on my wall. I graduated cum Lordy Lordy from the Seminary of Suffering…
It begins with picking teams on the sandlot field. People love winners and avoid losers. Unfortunately, this elite snobbery is in the church. People are valued for what they can do, and what they have accomplished rather than for who they are as people. We even have superstars in the church who expect special treatment.
Ancestry – Race and nationality have divided families, and nations, and communities for centuries. Generalizations and stereotypes can be brutally unfair.
Affluence – We accept people because they have money. A person’s economic status determines their appeal.
Harry Freeark – contractor, and member of our church shared an interesting insight into human nature recently. As a contractor Harry does work for the rich and the poor. He is invited into expensive homes to do remodeling and repair work, and is often treated poorly by the rich who are demanding, and unappreciative, and brutally condescending. Later the same day Harry does work for a truckers diner, and finds the people off the charts gracious hosts, asking about his family, and giving him something to eat… who is rich in the valuable things of life here?
Agism – You are too young or too old. It can go both ways.
Love the sinner, hate the sin. There is a difference between acceptance and approval. You can accept someone,
Socrates – sent a student back to his parents with this note, “I can teach him nothing, for he loves me not.”
We value:
The smart over the ignorant
The quick over the slow
The affluent over the poor
The educated over the un-educated
The thin over the heavy
The young over the old
The white over the colorful
The American over the rest
God is looking for people who value what is on the inside. It is character that counts.
II. Problem – Favoritism is Sin
A. Favoritism is ungodly
Being like Jesus means that we don’t play favorites. He treated everyone with dignity and respect. He was a gentleman. While discrimination exists everywhere else in the world, it should not exist in the church!
B. Favoritism is wrong logically
James 2:5-7
"Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who
are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit
the kingdom he promised those who love him? But you have insulted
the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not
the ones who are dragging you into court? Are they not the ones who
are slandering the noble name of him to whom you belong?" NIV
There is nothing wrong with being poor or rich. A person’s bank account has nothing to do with a person’s value and worth to God. Don’t confuse your net worth with your self worth.
Illustration: Ted Turner is having a tough time in life because he is down to his last billion dollars after losing 8 billion. One of his children was concerned that he would become suicidal and follow his Dad’s path to the grave.
James is saying that logically, everyone needs to understand that value and worth are determined by God, not the checking account.
Fundamentally, why do people gravitate toward the rich, or the famous? They are hoping that it will either rub off on them, or somehow they will get something for themselves.
C. Favoritism is unloving
It is the royal law because everything else fits under it. If this
law is kept, then the others wouldn’t be needed (Galatians 5:14
).
When I am playing favorites, I am violating the principle of love.
D. Favoritism is forbidden by the law (it is sin and deserve judgement)
There are two ways to treat people:
1. Godly
2. Ungodly
James lays out a level playing field. He is challenging the Christians to realize that favoritism is ungodly, and that we don’t compartmentalize our faith so that we are loving to certain people, and not to others, we keep some of the law and not others. If you commit adultery with another man’s wife, he will not be glad that at least you didn’t murder him… it is ludicrous to say the least.
There is no place for prejudice in the church.
III. The Plan for Conquering Favoritism
A. Mercy – giving people what they don’ deserve
The more we understand what we have received by un-merited favor, the more we cannot help but pass it on to others. There is no mercy in favoritism. There is no love in favoritism. There is no Godliness in favoritism.
Focus attention upon God, and how much He has lavished upon us, and the believer cannot help but join God in His very nature of passing along the blessing to others.
B. Speak and act in freedom
1. Edify
To edify means to build up! Whomever we come in contact with, we should be considering how to build them up and nudge them forward in the faith.
Everyone in the church is either building or tearing down. God is looking for churches who are willing to build into every body. Nothing can stop a loving church.
2. Encourage
When people struggle, don’t criticize, sympathize. Be an encourager, not a complainer.
3. Esteem others
For the Christian, silence isn’t golden, it is yellow. We need to take the initiative and express our love and appreciation for one another.
We are all the same! There is no distinction with Christ.
Jesus wasn’t partial to anyone, and neither should we be.
Conclusion: How do you plan to overcome favoritism?
Appendix:
How to Influence People
(winning a person’s heart.)
My ability to influence someone is directly connected to winning the person’s heart. People are like doves, hold them too loosely and they will fly away. Hold them too tightly and you will crush the life.
Military influence: drill sergeants command respect, but there is not a relationship with the subordinates. The military can accomplish many things because of power and control. The shortcoming is that the soldiers typically are not endeared to the commanding officers. Some families are run this way with the father being the commandant, as in the movie, The Sound of Music.
You cannot antagonize, badger, exasperate and influence at the same
time. Ephesians 6:4
speaks to this issue, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children;
instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."
NIV
Laissez Faire Influence: Que sera sera – lack of direction and control is the other side of the coin. This does not work either. Influencing another person is a lot like flying a kite. Hold the string too tightly, and the kite will never get off the ground. Let the string go too quickly, and the kite will crash. There is a healthy tension between the two that must be maintained.
Ministry is about life change, and yet it is God who causes things
to grow. I will always be frustrated if I try to become God’s
helper, or God the Holy Spirit in someone’s life. My job is
to create a healthy spiritual environment where people can grow to
maturity if they want to. So I till the soil, fertilize it and pull
the weeds so that the seed that is planted has the best opportunity
to grow as God does His work in a life (1 Corinthians 3
). Even Jesus faced four soils (Mark 4
).
My wife likes to use the illustration of a light-bulb that does not
show favoritism for whoever comes into the room. The light just continues
to shine on all people (Matthew 5:16
"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that
they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."
NIV).
Practical steps:
1) Genuine passion for people? Do you really love people? People will sense if you have a genuine love and compassion for them. They will also sense if you have a hidden selfish agenda.
2) Genuine interest in people? Are you willing to do your homework? If you are working with children, then read books about childhood development. If you are working with teens, then read everything you can about the youth culture. Find out what the teens are reading in school. The youth culture is constantly changing. Are you working with singles, then do some homework to know the condition of your flock. What makes them tick? Go into their world. See what makes them tick. This can be shocking, so be prepared. A tugboat can turn an ocean liner by coming alongside and maintaining contact with consistent influence.
3) Accept people just as they are. It has been said that God loves you just as you are, but loves you too much to leave you that way. God is in the business of changing lives. We are not talking about approving, but accepting. This is the process of maintaining the lines of communication so that there is the opportunity for influence. You can win the battle, but lose the war. The famous baseball coach, Sparky Anderson lost his son because he made long hair the basis of his acceptance.
News flash: “Youth now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love to chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when the elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.” Socrates circa 399 B.C.
4) Availability is the most important ability. Carve out time in your busy schedule to be “with” the person you desire to influence. Learn to give your schedule to God. Turn the TV off. Who do you need to write? Who needs phone call of encouragement?
5) Be genuinely interested in the other person. Ask many questions. Attend something the person is doing. Make sure the person knows that you are there. Go backstage and make your presence known. Don’t just be part of the crowd. Show up at band practices and rehearsals, or award ceremonies. Send a congratulatory note.
6) Make special time with people. Ask God to give you eyes to see and ears to hear in regard to where He is working. The most frustrating experience in life is to try to work in someone’s life where God is not already working. I used to make it a habit to eat lunch with a different one of my children every week. They were quick to know whose turn it was. If it was possible, I would go on campus.
7) Express appreciation often!
a. Verbalize it
b. Write it.
c. Look for things to praise. There are dozens of things that are worthy of praising that people do every week at our church. Notes like, “I noticed you picking up some trash last Sunday at church. That may seem like a small thing, but people like you who sweat the small things, are the people who make our church great! God bless you and have a wonderful day.”
8) Express Admiration and Congratulations!
a. Newspaper clippings – drop it in the mail with a note.
b. “I’ve always known that you’re special, and I’m glad that others are noticing what I have seen for a long time.
c. I’m proud that you are part of our ministry.
9) Express concern for others facing problems
a. The problems may seem small to you, but they are big to those facing the problems.
b. Compassion goes a long way. Communication that says, “I cannot understand everything you are going through, but I want you to know that I care”, can mean the world to someone under the pressure.
10) Don’t force yourself on the other person.
a. Give some space
b. Don’t be the quick fix guru. Be a listening ear, and pray.
11) Be honest and transparent
a.
If you are wrong, be quick to admit it (Hebrews 13:18
"Pray for us. We are sure that we have a clear conscience
and desire to live honorably in every way." NIV).
b. You are a fellow struggler who is in need of God’s grace.
Five Don’ts:
1) Belittle or overly criticize
a. Sarcasm destroys
b. Overstatements kill – why don’t you ever do your chores.
2) Don’t Compare with other young people or siblings
a. Why aren’t you like so and so?
b. Comparisons always deflate and defeat the person.
3) Don’t leak information
Confidentiality is key.
4) Don’t have favorites
a. Each person is an individual
b. Don’t adjust the standards for the person who is successful, famous or powerful.
5) Don’t talk about another person critically
The person will say, “I wonder of he or she is saying something about me to others.”
[1]
Louw, J. P., & Nida, E. A. (1996,
c1989). Greek-English lexicon of the New Testament : Based on
semantic domains (electronic ed. of the 2nd edition.) (Vol.
1, Page 767).
[2]
Merriam-Webster,
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